Final Words

Dear Family and Friends,

February 27 will mark one month since Tim left this world to join our Father in Heaven.  While I know Tim is happy and at peace, this has been a month of struggle for me.  A big part of me died with Tim that day and I just can't imagine how I will ever recover.  I sit here in total disbelief.  I keep telling myself: "Any minute now, he'll be back."  I feel it won't be long before Tim walks through the front door, with his beautiful smile, and takes all this pain away.

Many of you told me you admired my strength throughout Tim's journey.  But I must tell you now, it was not my own strength, but God's strength, which carried me through what I believed to be the hardest challenge I would face.  I realize now, that the toughest challenge for me began the morning of January 27: my own life journey.  I know God is still with me offering to help.  Yet, my own fears blind and weaken me and keep me from taking God's hand when I need Him most.  The road ahead of me will be rough!  But I know I will be fine if I just allow my self to trust completely in God and let Him show me the way.

Even though this will be my last post, know that I will think of you often and never forget your kindness.  Thank you for allowing me to share Tim's journey. Thank you for loving us, praying for us, encouraging us, supporting us, and for being by our side the whole way through.

I would like to end my blog by sharing a slide show of some of many photos of Tim's life, as well as our last words about him.

The day of Tim's funeral service was truly beautiful.  That day was filled with Tim's presence and with the love from all of you, whom Tim loved so much.  Please keep Tim's memory alive in your hearts.

Thank you and God bless you all!

Final words (Eulogy):


From Andrea:

"I've had such a hard time accepting Tim’s passing that I could just not make myself write a eulogy.  I just had no idea how to begin nor if I would have the strength to speak today.  Compared to many of you, I knew Timmy for a short while. St. John Fisher is where I met Timmy and where our life together begun, 10 years ago.
I thank God for the honor and the gift of having Tim in my life.  Reflecting back on our life together, I now realize that God had a plan for us.  He put Tim in my life at a crucial time for me, when I needed it most.  And as I reflect further, the only thing I seem to remember from Tim’s marriage proposal to me, is Tim saying that he knew I would always take good care of him.  I know he was not referring to the battle he fought with cancer and the care giving needs he required, but God sure was.   Tim changed my life around.  He made me a better person and taught me the true meaning of love.  And I sure hope that I took care of him the way Tim hoped I would.
I still remember the first day I met Tim.  I remember him walking into the office with his goofy-like walk.  Perhaps many of you know which walk I am referring to.  Tim was always a kid at heart and always made us laugh one way or another.  He was so easy going and had the kindest heart.  He was just so amazing.  He was so respectful, thoughtful, and unselfish.  My entire family fell in love with Tim as quickly as I did.
I am so sad that he is not with us anymore and I just can’t stand the fact.  But I know he is no longer suffering and he is finally home with God our Father.  I know that if he were able to say anything to you today, it would be this: “Thank you for being an important part in my life and I hope I made some difference in your life as well."  He would also want you to be happy for him and smile whenever you think of him.
I know he is here with us today in spirit, and I want to say: Tim, rest now in the arms of our Father, you are sorely missed but we will keep you alive in our hearts through the many memories you have left for us.
As I said before, I knew Tim for the latter part of his life, so I am begging you to share photos and stories of his earlier years, so that I may share them with my girls and keep the memory of Tim alive in our hearts.
In closing, I want to share this beautiful message I found.  I think it is exactly what Tim wanted to say to us all."
"Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free; I took His hand when I heard him call; I turned my back and left it all.  If my parting has left a void; then fill it with remembered joy.  My life's been full, I savored much; good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.  A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss; ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.  Perhaps my time seemed all too brief; don't lengthen it now with undue grief.  Lift up your hearts and share with me; God wanted me now, He set me free."


From Maren:
"As I was searching for words that I could say relating to Tim's childhood I said a prayer to the Holy Spirit and these are the words that came to my mind: "This is my beloved son of whom I am well pleased."  And this describes how Frank and I feel.  Tim was a happy baby.  He kept himself occupied and gave up naps early on.  He was such a funny kid.  It didn't take long for us to realize Tim had a good sense of humor.  There is one story that I will never forget.  Around age 4, Tim had a new friend named Julian.  One evening while our family was at the dinner table one of the boys asked: "what kind of potatoes are these?" I answered: "They are Julienne potatoes." And at that moment, Tim took a fork full of potatoes and before he put it in his mouth said: "Bye-Bye Julian!!"
In closing, there is a poem that I want to share with you by e. e. cummings titled: I Carry your heart with me.
"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"


From Andy:
Andy shared beautiful memories of Tim that portrayed the strong bond that they had as well as reminded us of Tim's great sense of humor and personality.  I hope to be able to add Andy's words to Tim in the near future.


From Jose (my Dad):
"Today I want to say Thank you to my son in-law, Tim Fowler, for teaching me a valuable lesson.
We all knew Tim as the great son, husband, father, brother, and friend that he was.  When Tim became ill he remained in good spirits and demonstrated strength through it all.  Even though he suffered greatly and went through such a rough time, he kept the same positive attitude and great personality he always had.  And so he taught me that when our time should come, we must not be afraid and fight back, but accept it with courage and dignity.  Thank you Tim!"




"Love bears all things
Believes all things
Endures all things
Love never ends."
1 Corinthians 13: 7-8

Funeral Services for Tim

Dear Family and Friends,

Please join us as we bid farewell to our beloved Tim.

The Funeral Mass will take place on Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 11:00 am at St. John Fisher Church (5448 Crest Road, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275).  Followed by the Committal/Burial at Green Hills Cemetery (27501 S. Western Ave, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275).

I also want to thank those of you who have already sent me stories and photos of special memories you have of Tim.  These stories will be a great gift to my girls as it will keep Tim alive in their hearts for many years to come.  There will be a basket there that day for anyone else wishing to drop off stories or pictures.

Please continue to pray for our family as we continue our own journey without our Timmy in our lives.

May God bless you!

Peaceful Departure

Dear Family and Friends,

Our beloved Tim, My dear sweet Timmy, passed away, peacefully, this morning at 7:30.  He was feeling OK on Monday, but his health quickly declined and by Thursday, we just knew it was close.

Funeral arrangements are being prepared and I will disclose the details soon.

I have a big favor to ask all of you.  I want to compile a book that contains stories about Tim's life.   He was such an amazing person and I want to have those memories to read to my girls and share with all of you.  But I can't do this alone.  I need your help. I have about 10 years worth of stories to tell you about my Timmy. But I am missing 24 more years of his life.

It would be such a dream to me to obtain from you a short or long story, or as many as you should remember, and if you have pictures as well that would be wonderful.

If you would like to participate, please e-mail, mail, hand deliver, etc., whatever story and/or picture you would like to share about Tim.

Thank you!

Little Miracles

Dear Family and Friends,

January 10, 2012 marked one year since Tim's diagnosis...One Year! (Sigh!)

Many images of the time gone by flash before me as I watch my Timmy sleep, taking one breath after another.  I sit here struggling for the right words to describe what is going through my mind and my heart and wonder what I should or shouldn't share.

I have heard the phrase: "take it a day at a time" on numerous occasions.  In fact, I have used this phrase myself many times during my life.  Except, until a few months ago, I didn't truly understand or literally followed its meaning.

I closed the year with a post that focused on all things good and chose to omit a few events.  However, I feel that I should share some of these events with you in order to tell you how we feel God has been present in our lives and granted us miracles thus far.

Sometime after Thanksgiving, Tim woke up with excruciating pain and shortness of breath.  It was the first time, since Tim's diagnosis, that I had seen Tim in such agony, so I knew his pain was truly severe.  Oxygen was immediately given, a morphine pump was placed a few hours later, and a few medications were added to control Tim's symptoms.  We were also told that Tim's illness was progressing and more than likely, he would have to remain flat on his back from that point forward.   A few days later, Tim began to feel better and was even able to sit up in bed.  Thanks be to God!

In early December, on the night of my birthday, Tim was feeling so badly, that he said his goodbyes to me, told me his wishes, and apologized to me if he were to expire that night.  I didn't sleep at all for the rest of the night, and instead prayed and stayed close to him.  The next day, Tim woke up feeling a little better and he continued to feel better everyday after that.  As I shared with you in my previous post, Tim was even able to get out of bed, into a wheelchair, and out of the house on the day after Christmas.  We were so thrilled and thankful to God.

Over New Year's Day weekend, Tim's blood pressure decreased and his heart rate increase to levels of concern and we were advised to prepare ourselves.  But once more, Tim stabilized and began to feel better a few days later.

Tim is truly amazing.  While some days are not so good, he continues to fight, remains hopeful, optimistic, and calm.  Tim's love for us, his endurance, and strong faith, inspire and strengthen me.

Just as our children ask us freely for many things hoping we say "yes", we too should continue to ask God, our Father, to grant Tim the miracle of healing and hoping he answers "yes!"  Likewise, as we know what is best for our children when we answer "yes" or "no" to them, we too should trust and accept, that whatever God grants us, is what He, as our Father, knows to be best for us.

We have asked God, our Father, for many things this last year and we are so thankful to Him for the times he has answered "yes."  We are also very thankful to Him for always answering "yes" when we ask for his guidance, comfort, and strength to keep going forward when we feel we just absolutely can't.

I am so thankful to God for my daughter Katie.  She has been amazing through this journey as well and has grown so much.  She wakes up in the mornings and gets ready for school by herself, does schoolwork by herself, takes such good care of her little sister, Maegan, and makes sure our pets are fed.  Katie has even taken the initiative of doing some chores around the house to help out. I am so proud of her.

Thank you to all of you for continuing to pray with us with an open heart.  Thank you to all of you for your continued support. I have tried to send personal "thank you" notes, but I just can't seem to keep track of where I left off.  So, I want to make sure you all know how much we appreciate all the help you have given us and continue to give us.

Before I finish my post, I'd like to invite you to join a fundraising effort that a friend of a friend of Tim's is putting together to help our family.  The Ministry Exchange, 8320 La Palma , Buena Park, CA 714-501-8469.  Monday, January 30, 2012 from 10 am to 9 pm. Visit their Facebook page or call them for more information.(http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/365958100096860/).

Thank you. May God bless you all!

Awaiting 2012!

Dear Family and Friends,

I can't believe it has been over a month since I have posted updates.  Time has just slipped so fast. There is so much to share, but I want to get my last post of the year done, so I will summarize.

We are still gathering to pray for Tim and all of our sick brothers and sisters at St. John Fisher Church (5448 Crest Rd, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275) every Wednesday at 2:45 pm for about 45 minutes.  You are all welcome to join us for all or part of the time.  If you can't make it to the Church, you are welcome to join us in prayer wherever you happen to be.

Wednesday Prayer Group.

The Knights of Columbus' Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser was wonderful.  So many of you came from nearby or far, brought a friend or two, and filled the room with so much love!  The Beach Reporter News also placed a beautiful article to spread the word about the dinner  (http://www.tbrnews.com/articles/2011/12/02/redondo_beach_news/news03.txt).

Family and Friends filled the hall.



Knights working hard.





Dressed in Vikings shirts for Tim!




The Knights!













Thank you to my wonderful neighbors for supporting Jodi's garage sale!

All smiles!

Thank you to all of the St. James school families who have helped us in so many ways and to the St. James Student Council who collected funds for us at the Father-Daughter Dance. Wish I had a photo to share!


Thank you to the St. John Fisher Student Council for having a hot chocolate and donut sale to raise funds to help us and for such beautiful card!

Thank you to the Alessandra, Burr, and Olson Familes for hosting a wine tasting fundraiser.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year!  Both Tim's family and mine gathered together and had a great time and a delicious meal.

Thank you Don for cooking the delicious Turkey!

We enjoyed our Christmas and hope you all did too!

Thanks to some of Tim's wonderful friends who built a ramp outside our house, and to Tim's brother, Andy, who put a concrete sidewalk, Tim was able (for the first time since coming home from the hospital) to get out off his bed and outside the house to breathe some fresh air.  We were all so thrilled! 

Taking Daddy for a ride!

As this year ends and a new year begins, we would like to say THANK YOU to all of you who have stuck with us and supported us in any way! We love you!  May you all have a blessed 2012!





Join us!

Dear Family and Friends,

Tim came home from the hospital on November 10.  He is doing OK under the circumstances, but it will take time for all of us to adjust.



Welcome Home Daddy!

During this most difficult time, your love, prayers, and generosity is what sustains us and keeps us going.  So many wonderful things are happening around us and we just can't even describe the feeling.  We are so thankful!

We would like to invite you to join us in some upcoming events that are being organized by family and friends.

We need all the prayers we can possibly get and we need your help:

Our dear friend, Claudia, has organized a weekly prayer time at St. John Fisher Church (5448 Crest Road, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA).  Starting November 30, we will gather every Wednesday at 2:45 pm to pray for Tim.  We hope you can join us.

My awesome sisters are organizing prayer times through an online video conference site.  I will be posting detailed information on this very soon.

Our dear friends from the Knights of Columbus (Council 1990) will host a Spaghetti Fundraising Dinner to help us. It will take place on Friday, December 2nd, 5 pm - 8 pm at the K of C Hall (214 Ave. I, Redondo Beach).  The price will be $10 for adults and $5 for children. The Council will match the proceeds of the dinner.  We hope you can join in their effort and enjoy a good meal with us.

My kind neighbors got together and had a garage sale last Saturday and will be having a second one on Saturday, December 3rd!

We would like to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!  We give thanks to God for all of you!

God bless you always!

Days to Come...

My dear family and friends,

Thank you for coming to Tim's party and showing him your love and support.  We recently received a copy of the video from the party for Tim to enjoy.  We also, have yet to open your cards and read your words of love and encouragement.  You all made this event so amazing and I hope you enjoyed yourselves! Thank you also to all of you who had the chance to swing by the house and say a quick hello to Tim.  We all felt God's presence through your love and friendship. God bless you!

On Saturday evening, Tim became ill and after a rough night, we decided to transport him to the ER. Tim was admitted on Sunday morning and will remain in the hospital for a few more days. Tim was having a little trouble breathing, but is now able to breathe just fine on his own.  His lower body was numb and tingly, and his legs weakened substantially. Three different MRI scans and other tests revealed that the cancer has grown and has intruded into the nerves of his spinal cord. In addition, a new mass was found in another part of his spine.

Tim's medical case was reviewed by several Oncologists, Neurosurgeons, and Radiologists in search of options for treatments or procedures.  After careful analysis and much discussion, it was determined that the risks outweighed the benefits it could possibly provide.  Thus, after prayerful consideration, Tim will remain in the hospital for a couple of days and will then be allowed to come home with hospice care.

We thank all of you for your prayers and support. And we ask that you continue to pray for Tim and all of us.  That God may continue to comfort and strengthen us as we go forward and May God heal us and grant us peace.

God bless you!