No Change...

It is with great disappointment that I share these news.  Tim's Oncologist reported "no change."  The tumor as quoted in the impression is: "8.4 x 10.2 x 14 cm posterior mediastinal/anterior paraspinal mass in the mid and lower chest, displacing mediastinal structures anteriorly and resulting in cortical destruction of the T8, T9 and T10 vertebral bodies."

So what's next?  A total of four more treatments of Etoposide and Ifex.  However, they will have to wait until Tim is stronger.  A follow-up appointment on August 3 will determine when treatments will begin.

We were left with two possible explanations of why the tumor's size is unchanged:  1) there may be scar tissue due to radiation or 2) the chemo is merely containing it.  Tim will be rescanned after two treatments and if there are no signs of regression, the last two treatments will follow.  After the four treatments are completed, Tim will be rescanned once more and monitored for any traces of cancer. 

What this all means?  Your guess is as good as mine!  Neither good or bad news, I guess.  We left the appointment feeling disappointed and confused.  However, even though we did not obtain the good news we were hoping for, news that would give us the needed strength and encouragement to continue the journey, we remain faithful that it will all be OK at the end.  We have nowhere else to go then forward. With that in mind I will end my post this way:





Katie turned 11 on Friday!



Beach Cities Relay For Life Cancer Walk 2011

  



Dancing!



A lap in support of Daddy

 

Fight Cancer!

 

Words of encouragement!



Go Tim!





Luminarias

Thank you to all of you who have stuck with us and taken the time to support us and encourage us despite your busy schedules and the hustles of everyday life!  It means more than words could say.

Do You Believe In Miracles?

Three times since last week, I began to write a post but couldn't seem to complete them.  My first post was of me venting and feeling I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am.  My second post was of frustration, since Tim was very sick through his entire treatment.  My third post was of faith and joy, after I read a book: "Why Not Me" - A true story about a miracle in Miami by Raymond Rodriguez-Torres.  This is such a wonderful short story, which I highly recommend. This book really recharged my energy and made me feel that despite all the ups and downs, we are on the right track.

For many weeks I had a feeling and thought of loneliness and abandonment.  I kept asking myself this question: "Why do I feel so alone and forgotten despite the fact that so many friends and family are showing their love and support?"  I must have asked myself that question repeatedly for over a month until I recently realized that I have been missing many important details that have happened in our lives that are clear signs of God's work.  I also realized that I continue to try to take control of the situation instead of giving complete control to our Lord and allowing him to show me the way.

This week was the hardest week for me.  I have never been more tired and emotionally drained. We were so happy that Tim came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon.  But then, later that evening, Maegan became very sick, so I stayed up with her most of the night trying to sooth her and bring her high fever down.  Today, I took both Maegan and Katie to the doctor.  The doctor gave them both antibiotics and told us we had to keep Tim and the girls apart for 5 to 7 days to prevent Tim from becoming very ill and being hospitalized again.

There are so many things going through my mind and so many emotions in my heart that it is really hard to explain and put them in writing.  Perhaps that is the reason I just couldn't finish my previous post attempts and can't seem to make a decent post out of this one either.  So I will end this post with the only glimpse of clarity in my mind and in my heart.

Tim will have a scan on July 21, exactly 9 days from tomorrow (7/13).  I invite all of you to join in fervent prayer every day for the next 9 days.  I would also encourage all of you to invite your own friends and family to join in and pray for Tim's healing.  We really need all the prayers we can possibly get.

Do you believe in miracles? Let's believe and pray together that God will grant a miracle of healing for Tim!

Thank you!